Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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