As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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