she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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