I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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