Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
