What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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