He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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