I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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