She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
