I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
