I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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