Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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