Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
