I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
