he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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