she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
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