I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
