we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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