How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
