Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
