We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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