i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
