i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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