Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
