honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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