You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
