Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry princesscara hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Damn. That makes sense

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems

Fav 3 2243 778
share tweet
(209): View more from California

Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.

Fav 19 6823 1228
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.

Fav 17 1299 5428
share tweet
(316): View more from Kansas

she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.

Fav 41 4008 1863
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx

Fav 30 2868 4372
share tweet
(925): View more from California

you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left

Fav 4 3866 1194
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?

Fav 2 1496 784
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.

Fav 2 196 208
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

Dude this weed has me so paranoid.

(503): View more from Oregon

Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.

Fav 0 17 35
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT