how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
