just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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