I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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