Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
