Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize