Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
