Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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