i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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