I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
