i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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