i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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