Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
