I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize