dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
vagina is talking i cant
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
