I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
