And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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