i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
