i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
