the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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