Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
should my penis look like a turkey
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
