If you die in college, do you die in real life?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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