dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
