pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
