Banned from zoo.
Again?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
