There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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