she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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