Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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