He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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