it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
