They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
