Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize