I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So much rum. So many feels.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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