Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
