Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
