Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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