This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
