Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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