I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
