Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
