You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
