turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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